Bisexual

Just realized you're bi? Unsure if you're bi, pan, or lesbian? Questioning your gender? Talk about your thoughts and feelings here.
ESilver1
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Re: Bisexual

Post by ESilver1 »

Yeah, I knew early on as well.
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VirgoGirl
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Re: Bisexual

Post by VirgoGirl »

I have had crushes on girls from a very early age. When i was 14, I had a crush on my best friend, who btw is still my friend! Then i had a crush on another friend again when I was 20, we were very close and still remain friends till this day. She knows now that I am bi and our friendship is purely platonic. I fell for a lot of my friends, i'm not going to mention all of them here. I never knew that someone could be bisexual, i was always so confused that i liked men and women, i thought that i would have to eventually choose a side. I met my husband, fell hard for him and thought, ok i've chosen a side now. Then we made friends with our then neighbours and i got another crush on her again....i was in my late 20's. One thing led to another and we ended up kissing one night. I was confused again. So i googled it and finally came to the realization that there was a name for what i was.. bisexual and that i'm not the only one. So i confessed one night to my husband and he said he always knew. He has been so supportive.
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moonbynight
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Re: Bisexual

Post by moonbynight »

"I never knew someone could be bisexual" was how it started for me too, though I figured it out a bit earlier.

I had crushes on girls from a young age, but didn't realize that's what they were. Around 11 or 12, I learned lesbians existed, and started to think that maybe I was having crushes on girls, but I had them on guys too, so I couldn't be a lesbian, so the crushes on girls must be something else.

Around 15 or 16, I learned bisexuality existed, and immediately made much more sense to myself.
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VirgoGirl
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Re: Bisexual

Post by VirgoGirl »

You know, it was when i first googled bisexuality in my late 20's when i came upon Shys and joined. Shys has been a very important part of my life and opened me more up to acceptance of my sexuality. I have been with Shys for 13 years now....one underestimates the power and influence and support a site like this one can offer. Im grateful for this site and all the friends i have made and still going to make.
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.Ilye.
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Re: Bisexual

Post by .Ilye. »

I knew I was attracted to women when I was in school, but I spent a long time shutting that down. I told myself it was still likely that I would only ever fall for men and there was no need to deal with it. Being attracted to women stayed between me, my browser history, and Shybi. Around two years ago, I came to the conclusion that keeping that part of me on lockdown really did me a disservice. I now tell myself "I'm bisexual" not "I'm mostly straight" and I am out to a few people. Similar to @VirgoGirl above, I've been on and off Shys for over a decade and it's really the place I'm honest and open. I have learned so much from the site.
StartingLate
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Re: Bisexual

Post by StartingLate »

Hey, I think I knew since I was early teens but ignored it. I was attracted to men too so was easier and simpler to pursue men and ignore my attraction to women. I’ve always fantasized about sex with women and always found women’s bodies much more attractive than men’s but for the last 5 or so years I have been think about sex with women more and more. It’s become some thing I feel I need to do, just don’t know how it would come about as I’m married and ages 41
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moonbynight
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Re: Bisexual

Post by moonbynight »

StartingLate wrote: Fri Apr 07, 2023 8:39 pm Hey, I think I knew since I was early teens but ignored it. I was attracted to men too so was easier and simpler to pursue men and ignore my attraction to women. I’ve always fantasized about sex with women and always found women’s bodies much more attractive than men’s but for the last 5 or so years I have been think about sex with women more and more. It’s become some thing I feel I need to do, just don’t know how it would come about as I’m married and ages 41
This is how I feel, too. It was fairly easy to ignore when I was younger. I mean, the crushes weren't necessarily easy to ignore :lol:, but in general, I just wanted the sexual/romantic connection and wasn't particularly fussed about which gender it was with. And, as you said, guys were easier. As I've gotten older, I've felt more and more like something core to who I am is being neglected.

It seems like a lot of women are in a similar situation, and you'd think that would make it easy to find community, but I agree that it isn't always.
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.Ilye.
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Re: Bisexual

Post by .Ilye. »

I think one thing that makes it hard to go from ignoring your bisexuality to acknowledging/embracing the part of you you've been neglecting is that it can be interpreted as someone who's bicurious. I know I'm bisexual and would very much date and have a relationship with a woman (though I'm not out to most people), but I have no experience and at least a few women on dating apps have run because of that - worried that I'm just testing it out.
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moonbynight
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Re: Bisexual

Post by moonbynight »

.Ilye. wrote: Sat Apr 08, 2023 4:42 pm I think one thing that makes it hard to go from ignoring your bisexuality to acknowledging/embracing the part of you you've been neglecting is that it can be interpreted as someone who's bicurious. I know I'm bisexual and would very much date and have a relationship with a woman (though I'm not out to most people), but I have no experience and at least a few women on dating apps have run because of that - worried that I'm just testing it out.
Same with me.

When I was in my teens and early 20s, I suppose you could have called me questioning/bicurious (though I hate that term - there's no equivalent "heterocurious" or "gaycurious") - I questioned whether I was truly attracted to women or just being a special snowflake. So basically, internalized biphobia. There's so many messages that we can't trust ourselves. But for the past 20 years, I've very firmly identified as bisexual, despite not having experience with women.

Even then... what's "experience"? I have not directly interacted with another woman's genitals in a sexual context. I've seen plenty of naked women. I've experienced my own physical reactions in response to women. I understand the basic mechanics of it and have an active imagination. I feel I can trust myself to know who I'm attracted to without touching their genitals first.
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.Ilye.
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Re: Bisexual

Post by .Ilye. »

I agree. I haven't touched a woman but I've certainly thought about it in enough detail to know how I feel about it. However, I also understand wanting to protect yourself against being someone's experiment.
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